The Complete Works of William Shakespeare/The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.iso/shakespr/shrew.txt

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    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


    DRAMATIS PERSONAE


    A Lord.        |
            |
CHRISTOPHER SLY    a tinker. (SLY:)        |  Persons in
            |  the Induction.
    Hostess, Page, Players,    |
    Huntsmen, and Servants.    |
    (Hostess:)
    (Page:)
    (A Player:)
    (First Huntsman:)
    (Second Huntsman:)
    (Messenger:)
    (First Servant:)
    (Second Servant:)
    (Third Servant:)


BAPTISTA    a rich gentleman of Padua.

VINCENTIO    an old gentleman of Pisa.

LUCENTIO    son to Vincentio, in love with Bianca.

PETRUCHIO    a gentleman of Verona, a suitor to
    Katharina.


GREMIO    |
    | suitors to Bianca.
HORTENSIO    |


TRANIO    |
    | servants to Lucentio.
BIONDELLO    |


GRUMIO    |
    |
CURTIS    |
    |
NATHANIEL    |
    |
NICHOLAS    |  servants to Petruchio.
    |
JOSEPH    |
    |
PHILIP    |
    |
PETER    |

    A Pedant.


KATHARINA the shrew,    |
        | daughters to Baptista.
BIANCA        |

    Widow.

    Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending
    on Baptista and Petruchio.
    (Tailor:)
    (Haberdasher:)
    (First Servant:)


SCENE    Padua, and Petruchio's country house.




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

    INDUCTION



SCENE I    Before an alehouse on a heath.


    [Enter Hostess and SLY]

SLY    I'll pheeze you, in faith.

Hostess    A pair of stocks, you rogue!

SLY    Ye are a baggage: the Slys are no rogues; look in
    the chronicles; we came in with Richard Conqueror.
    Therefore paucas pallabris; let the world slide: sessa!

Hostess    You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

SLY    No, not a denier. Go by, Jeronimy: go to thy cold
    bed, and warm thee.

Hostess    I know my remedy; I must go fetch the
    third--borough.

    [Exit]

SLY    Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him
    by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy: let him come,
    and kindly.

    [Falls asleep]

    [Horns winded. Enter a Lord from hunting, with his train]

Lord    Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds:
    Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss'd;
    And couple Clowder with the deep--mouth'd brach.
    Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good
    At the hedge-corner, in the coldest fault?
    I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

First Huntsman    Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord;
    He cried upon it at the merest loss
    And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent:
    Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord    Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet,
    I would esteem him worth a dozen such.
    But sup them well and look unto them all:
    To-morrow I intend to hunt again.

First Huntsman    I will, my lord.

Lord    What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?

Second Huntsman    He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm'd with ale,
    This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.

Lord    O monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies!
    Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!
    Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.
    What think you, if he were convey'd to bed,
    Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,
    A most delicious banquet by his bed,
    And brave attendants near him when he wakes,
    Would not the beggar then forget himself?

First Huntsman    Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

Second Huntsman    It would seem strange unto him when he waked.

Lord    Even as a flattering dream or worthless fancy.
    Then take him up and manage well the jest:
    Carry him gently to my fairest chamber
    And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
    Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters
    And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet:
    Procure me music ready when he wakes,
    To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
    And if he chance to speak, be ready straight
    And with a low submissive reverence
    Say 'What is it your honour will command?'
    Let one attend him with a silver basin
    Full of rose-water and bestrew'd with flowers,
    Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,
    And say 'Will't please your lordship cool your hands?'
    Some one be ready with a costly suit
    And ask him what apparel he will wear;
    Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
    And that his lady mourns at his disease:
    Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;
    And when he says he is, say that he dreams,
    For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
    This do and do it kindly, gentle sirs:
    It will be pastime passing excellent,
    If it be husbanded with modesty.

First Huntsman    My lord, I warrant you we will play our part,
    As he shall think by our true diligence
    He is no less than what we say he is.

Lord    Take him up gently and to bed with him;
    And each one to his office when he wakes.

    [Some bear out SLY. A trumpet sounds]

    Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds:

    [Exit Servingman]

    Belike, some noble gentleman that means,
    Travelling some journey, to repose him here.

    [Re-enter Servingman]

    How now! who is it?

Servant    An't please your honour, players
    That offer service to your lordship.

Lord    Bid them come near.

    [Enter Players]

    Now, fellows, you are welcome.

Players    We thank your honour.

Lord    Do you intend to stay with me tonight?

A Player    So please your lordship to accept our duty.

Lord    With all my heart. This fellow I remember,
    Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son:
    'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well:
    I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part
    Was aptly fitted and naturally perform'd.

A Player    I think 'twas Soto that your honour means.

Lord    'Tis very true: thou didst it excellent.
    Well, you are come to me in a happy time;
    The rather for I have some sport in hand
    Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
    There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
    But I am doubtful of your modesties;
    Lest over-eyeing of his odd behavior,--
    For yet his honour never heard a play--
    You break into some merry passion
    And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
    If you should smile he grows impatient.

A Player    Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves,
    Were he the veriest antic in the world.

Lord    Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery,
    And give them friendly welcome every one:
    Let them want nothing that my house affords.

    [Exit one with the Players]

    Sirrah, go you to Barthol'mew my page,
    And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady:
    That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber;
    And call him 'madam,' do him obeisance.
    Tell him from me, as he will win my love,
    He bear himself with honourable action,
    Such as he hath observed in noble ladies
    Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
    Such duty to the drunkard let him do
    With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,
    And say 'What is't your honour will command,
    Wherein your lady and your humble wife
    May show her duty and make known her love?'
    And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
    And with declining head into his bosom,
    Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd
    To see her noble lord restored to health,
    Who for this seven years hath esteem'd him
    No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
    And if the boy have not a woman's gift
    To rain a shower of commanded tears,
    An onion will do well for such a shift,
    Which in a napkin being close convey'd
    Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.
    See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst:
    Anon I'll give thee more instructions.

    [Exit a Servingman]

    I know the boy will well usurp the grace,
    Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman:
    I long to hear him call the drunkard husband,
    And how my men will stay themselves from laughter
    When they do homage to this simple peasant.
    I'll in to counsel them; haply my presence
    May well abate the over-merry spleen
    Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

    INDUCTION



SCENE II    A bedchamber in the Lord's house.


    [Enter aloft SLY, with Attendants; some with apparel,
    others with basin and ewer and appurtenances; and Lord]

SLY    For God's sake, a pot of small ale.

First Servant    Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

Second Servant    Will't please your honour taste of these conserves?

Third Servant    What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

SLY    I am Christophero Sly; call not me 'honour' nor
    'lordship:' I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if
    you give me any conserves, give me conserves of
    beef: ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I
    have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings
    than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay,
    sometimes more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my
    toes look through the over-leather.

Lord    Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!
    O, that a mighty man of such descent,
    Of such possessions and so high esteem,
    Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

SLY    What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher
    Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath, by birth a
    pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a
    bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker?
    Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if
    she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence
    on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the
    lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not
    bestraught: here's--

Third Servant    O, this it is that makes your lady mourn!

Second Servant    O, this is it that makes your servants droop!

Lord    Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,
    As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
    O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth,
    Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment
    And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.
    Look how thy servants do attend on thee,
    Each in his office ready at thy beck.
    Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays,

    [Music]

    And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
    Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch
    Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
    On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.
    Say thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground:
    Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp'd,
    Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.
    Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar
    Above the morning lark or wilt thou hunt?
    Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them
    And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.

First Servant    Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift
    As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.

Second Servant    Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight
    Adonis painted by a running brook,
    And Cytherea all in sedges hid,
    Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,
    Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

Lord    We'll show thee Io as she was a maid,
    And how she was beguiled and surprised,
    As lively painted as the deed was done.

Third Servant    Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,
    Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds,
    And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
    So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

Lord    Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:
    Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
    Than any woman in this waning age.

First Servant    And till the tears that she hath shed for thee
    Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face,
    She was the fairest creature in the world;
    And yet she is inferior to none.

SLY    Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
    Or do I dream? or have I dream'd till now?
    I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;
    I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things:
    Upon my life, I am a lord indeed
    And not a tinker nor Christophero Sly.
    Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;
    And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.

Second Servant    Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?
    O, how we joy to see your wit restored!
    O, that once more you knew but what you are!
    These fifteen years you have been in a dream;
    Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept.

SLY    These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.
    But did I never speak of all that time?

First Servant    O, yes, my lord, but very idle words:
    For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,
    Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door;
    And rail upon the hostess of the house;
    And say you would present her at the leet,
    Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts:
    Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

SLY    Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

Third Servant    Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,
    Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up,
    As Stephen Sly and did John Naps of Greece
    And Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernell
    And twenty more such names and men as these
    Which never were nor no man ever saw.

SLY    Now Lord be thanked for my good amends!

ALL    Amen.

SLY    I thank thee: thou shalt not lose by it.

    [Enter the Page as a lady, with attendants]

Page    How fares my noble lord?

SLY    Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough.
    Where is my wife?

Page    Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her?

SLY    Are you my wife and will not call me husband?
    My men should call me 'lord:' I am your goodman.

Page    My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;
    I am your wife in all obedience.

SLY    I know it well. What must I call her?

Lord    Madam.

SLY    Al'ce madam, or Joan madam?

Lord    'Madam,' and nothing else: so lords
    call ladies.

SLY    Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd
    And slept above some fifteen year or more.

Page    Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,
    Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.

SLY    'Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone.
    Madam, undress you and come now to bed.

Page    Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you
    To pardon me yet for a night or two,
    Or, if not so, until the sun be set:
    For your physicians have expressly charged,
    In peril to incur your former malady,
    That I should yet absent me from your bed:
    I hope this reason stands for my excuse.

SLY    Ay, it stands so that I may hardly
    tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into
    my dreams again: I will therefore tarry in
    despite of the flesh and the blood.

    [Enter a Messenger]

Messenger    Your honour's players, heating your amendment,
    Are come to play a pleasant comedy;
    For so your doctors hold it very meet,
    Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood,
    And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy:
    Therefore they thought it good you hear a play
    And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,
    Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.

SLY    Marry, I will, let them play it. Is not a
    comondy a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?

Page    No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.

SLY    What, household stuff?

Page    It is a kind of history.

SLY    Well, well see't. Come, madam wife, sit by my side
    and let the world slip: we shall ne'er be younger.

    [Flourish]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT I



SCENE I    Padua. A public place.


    [Enter LUCENTIO and his man TRANIO]

LUCENTIO    Tranio, since for the great desire I had
    To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,
    I am arrived for fruitful Lombardy,
    The pleasant garden of great Italy;
    And by my father's love and leave am arm'd
    With his good will and thy good company,
    My trusty servant, well approved in all,
    Here let us breathe and haply institute
    A course of learning and ingenious studies.
    Pisa renown'd for grave citizens
    Gave me my being and my father first,
    A merchant of great traffic through the world,
    Vincetino come of Bentivolii.
    Vincetino's son brought up in Florence
    It shall become to serve all hopes conceived,
    To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:
    And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,
    Virtue and that part of philosophy
    Will I apply that treats of happiness
    By virtue specially to be achieved.
    Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left
    And am to Padua come, as he that leaves
    A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep
    And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.

TRANIO    Mi perdonato, gentle master mine,
    I am in all affected as yourself;
    Glad that you thus continue your resolve
    To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.
    Only, good master, while we do admire
    This virtue and this moral discipline,
    Let's be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray;
    Or so devote to Aristotle's cheques
    As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured:
    Balk logic with acquaintance that you have
    And practise rhetoric in your common talk;
    Music and poesy use to quicken you;
    The mathematics and the metaphysics,
    Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you;
    No profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en:
    In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

LUCENTIO    Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.
    If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,
    We could at once put us in readiness,
    And take a lodging fit to entertain
    Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.
    But stay a while: what company is this?

TRANIO    Master, some show to welcome us to town.

    [Enter BAPTISTA, KATHARINA, BIANCA, GREMIO, and
    HORTENSIO. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand by]

BAPTISTA    Gentlemen, importune me no farther,
    For how I firmly am resolved you know;
    That is, not bestow my youngest daughter
    Before I have a husband for the elder:
    If either of you both love Katharina,
    Because I know you well and love you well,
    Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.

GREMIO    [Aside]  To cart her rather: she's too rough for me.
    There, There, Hortensio, will you any wife?

KATHARINA    I pray you, sir, is it your will
    To make a stale of me amongst these mates?

HORTENSIO    Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates for you,
    Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.

KATHARINA    I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear:
    I wis it is not half way to her heart;
    But if it were, doubt not her care should be
    To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool
    And paint your face and use you like a fool.

HORTENSIA    From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!

GREMIO    And me too, good Lord!

TRANIO    Hush, master! here's some good pastime toward:
    That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.

LUCENTIO    But in the other's silence do I see
    Maid's mild behavior and sobriety.
    Peace, Tranio!

TRANIO    Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.

BAPTISTA    Gentlemen, that I may soon make good
    What I have said, Bianca, get you in:
    And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,
    For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.

KATHARINA    A pretty peat! it is best
    Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.

BIANCA    Sister, content you in my discontent.
    Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe:
    My books and instruments shall be my company,
    On them to took and practise by myself.

LUCENTIO    Hark, Tranio! thou may'st hear Minerva speak.

HORTENSIO    Signior Baptista, will you be so strange?
    Sorry am I that our good will effects
    Bianca's grief.

GREMIO                      Why will you mew her up,
    Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,
    And make her bear the penance of her tongue?

BAPTISTA    Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved:
    Go in, Bianca:

    [Exit BIANCA]

    And for I know she taketh most delight
    In music, instruments and poetry,
    Schoolmasters will I keep within my house,
    Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,
    Or Signior Gremio, you, know any such,
    Prefer them hither; for to cunning men
    I will be very kind, and liberal
    To mine own children in good bringing up:
    And so farewell. Katharina, you may stay;
    For I have more to commune with Bianca.

    [Exit]

KATHARINA    Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What,
    shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, I
    knew not what to take and what to leave, ha?

    [Exit]

GREMIO    You may go to the devil's dam: your gifts are so
    good, here's none will hold you. Their love is not
    so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails
    together, and fast it fairly out: our cakes dough on
    both sides. Farewell: yet for the love I bear my
    sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit
    man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will
    wish him to her father.

HORTENSIO    So will I, Signior Gremio: but a word, I pray.
    Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brooked
    parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both,
    that we may yet again have access to our fair
    mistress and be happy rivals in Bianco's love, to
    labour and effect one thing specially.

GREMIO    What's that, I pray?

HORTENSIO    Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.

GREMIO    A husband! a devil.

HORTENSIO    I say, a husband.

GREMIO    I say, a devil. Thinkest thou, Hortensio, though
    her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool
    to be married to hell?

HORTENSIO    Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine
    to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good
    fellows in the world, an a man could light on them,
    would take her with all faults, and money enough.

GREMIO    I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with
    this condition, to be whipped at the high cross
    every morning.

HORTENSIO    Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten
    apples. But come; since this bar in law makes us
    friends, it shall be so far forth friendly
    maintained all by helping Baptista's eldest daughter
    to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband,
    and then have to't a fresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man
    be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring.
    How say you, Signior Gremio?

GREMIO    I am agreed; and would I had given him the best
    horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would
    thoroughly woo her, wed her and bed her and rid the
    house of her! Come on.

    [Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO]

TRANIO    I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible
    That love should of a sudden take such hold?

LUCENTIO    O Tranio, till I found it to be true,
    I never thought it possible or likely;
    But see, while idly I stood looking on,
    I found the effect of love in idleness:
    And now in plainness do confess to thee,
    That art to me as secret and as dear
    As Anna to the queen of Carthage was,
    Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,
    If I achieve not this young modest girl.
    Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst;
    Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.

TRANIO    Master, it is no time to chide you now;
    Affection is not rated from the heart:
    If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so,
    'Redime te captum quam queas minimo.'

LUCENTIO    Gramercies, lad, go forward; this contents:
    The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.

TRANIO    Master, you look'd so longly on the maid,
    Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.

LUCENTIO    O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
    Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
    That made great Jove to humble him to her hand.
    When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.

TRANIO    Saw you no more? mark'd you not how her sister
    Began to scold and raise up such a storm
    That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?

LUCENTIO    Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move
    And with her breath she did perfume the air:
    Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.

TRANIO    Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his trance.
    I pray, awake, sir: if you love the maid,
    Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands:
    Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd
    That till the father rid his hands of her,
    Master, your love must live a maid at home;
    And therefore has he closely mew'd her up,
    Because she will not be annoy'd with suitors.

LUCENTIO    Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he!
    But art thou not advised, he took some care
    To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?

TRANIO    Ay, marry, am I, sir; and now 'tis plotted.

LUCENTIO    I have it, Tranio.

TRANIO                      Master, for my hand,
    Both our inventions meet and jump in one.

LUCENTIO    Tell me thine first.

TRANIO    You will be schoolmaster
    And undertake the teaching of the maid:
    That's your device.

LUCENTIO    It is: may it be done?

TRANIO    Not possible; for who shall bear your part,
    And be in Padua here Vincentio's son,
    Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends,
    Visit his countrymen and banquet them?

LUCENTIO    Basta; content thee, for I have it full.
    We have not yet been seen in any house,
    Nor can we lie distinguish'd by our faces
    For man or master; then it follows thus;
    Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead,
    Keep house and port and servants as I should:
    I will some other be, some Florentine,
    Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa.
    'Tis hatch'd and shall be so: Tranio, at once
    Uncase thee; take my colour'd hat and cloak:
    When Biondello comes, he waits on thee;
    But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.

TRANIO    So had you need.
    In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is,
    And I am tied to be obedient;
    For so your father charged me at our parting,
    'Be serviceable to my son,' quoth he,
    Although I think 'twas in another sense;
    I am content to be Lucentio,
    Because so well I love Lucentio.

LUCENTIO    Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves:
    And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid
    Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye.
    Here comes the rogue.

    [Enter BIONDELLO]

        Sirrah, where have you been?

BIONDELLO    Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you?
    Master, has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes? Or
    you stolen his? or both? pray, what's the news?

LUCENTIO    Sirrah, come hither: 'tis no time to jest,
    And therefore frame your manners to the time.
    Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
    Puts my apparel and my countenance on,
    And I for my escape have put on his;
    For in a quarrel since I came ashore
    I kill'd a man and fear I was descried:
    Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,
    While I make way from hence to save my life:
    You understand me?

BIONDELLO                      I, sir! ne'er a whit.

LUCENTIO    And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth:
    Tranio is changed into Lucentio.

BIONDELLO    The better for him: would I were so too!

TRANIO    So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,
    That Lucentio indeed had Baptista's youngest daughter.
    But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master's, I advise
    You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies:
    When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio;
    But in all places else your master Lucentio.

LUCENTIO    Tranio, let's go: one thing more rests, that
    thyself execute, to make one among these wooers: if
    thou ask me why, sufficeth, my reasons are both good
    and weighty.

    [Exeunt]

    [The presenters above speak]

First Servant    My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.

SLY    Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely:
    comes there any more of it?

Page    My lord, 'tis but begun.

SLY    'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady:
    would 'twere done!

    [They sit and mark]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT I



SCENE II    Padua. Before HORTENSIO'S house.


    [Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO]

PETRUCHIO    Verona, for a while I take my leave,
    To see my friends in Padua, but of all
    My best beloved and approved friend,
    Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
    Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.

GRUMIO    Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there man has
    rebused your worship?

PETRUCHIO    Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

GRUMIO    Knock you here, sir! why, sir, what am I, sir, that
    I should knock you here, sir?

PETRUCHIO    Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
    And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.

GRUMIO    My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock
    you first,
    And then I know after who comes by the worst.

PETRUCHIO    Will it not be?
    Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring it;
    I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.

    [He wrings him by the ears]

GRUMIO    Help, masters, help! my master is mad.

PETRUCHIO    Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!

    [Enter HORTENSIO]

HORTENSIO    How now! what's the matter? My old friend Grumio!
    and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?

PETRUCHIO    Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
    'Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato,' may I say.

HORTENSIO    'Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor
    mio Petruchio.' Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound
    this quarrel.

GRUMIO    Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin.
    if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his
    service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap
    him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to
    use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see,
    two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had
    well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

PETRUCHIO    A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
    I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
    And could not get him for my heart to do it.

GRUMIO    Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these
    words plain, 'Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here,
    knock me well, and knock me soundly'? And come you
    now with, 'knocking at the gate'?

PETRUCHIO    Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.

HORTENSIO    Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge:
    Why, this's a heavy chance 'twixt him and you,
    Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
    And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
    Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

PETRUCHIO    Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
    To seek their fortunes farther than at home
    Where small experience grows. But in a few,
    Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
    Antonio, my father, is deceased;
    And I have thrust myself into this maze,
    Haply to wive and thrive as best I may:
    Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
    And so am come abroad to see the world.

HORTENSIO    Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
    And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour'd wife?
    Thou'ldst thank me but a little for my counsel:
    And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich
    And very rich: but thou'rt too much my friend,
    And I'll not wish thee to her.

PETRUCHIO    Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we
    Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
    One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife,
    As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
    Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,
    As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd
    As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse,
    She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
    Affection's edge in me, were she as rough
    As are the swelling Adriatic seas:
    I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
    If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

GRUMIO    Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his
    mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to
    a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er
    a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases
    as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss,
    so money comes withal.

HORTENSIO    Petruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in,
    I will continue that I broach'd in jest.
    I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
    With wealth enough and young and beauteous,
    Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman:
    Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
    Is that she is intolerable curst
    And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
    That, were my state far worser than it is,
    I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

PETRUCHIO    Hortensio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect:
    Tell me her father's name and 'tis enough;
    For I will board her, though she chide as loud
    As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

HORTENSIO    Her father is Baptista Minola,
    An affable and courteous gentleman:
    Her name is Katharina Minola,
    Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.

PETRUCHIO    I know her father, though I know not her;
    And he knew my deceased father well.
    I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;
    And therefore let me be thus bold with you
    To give you over at this first encounter,
    Unless you will accompany me thither.

GRUMIO    I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts.
    O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she
    would think scolding would do little good upon him:
    she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so:
    why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in
    his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what sir, an she
    stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in
    her face and so disfigure her with it that she
    shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat.
    You know him not, sir.

HORTENSIO    Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
    For in Baptista's keep my treasure is:
    He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
    His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca,
    And her withholds from me and other more,
    Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
    Supposing it a thing impossible,
    For those defects I have before rehearsed,
    That ever Katharina will be woo'd;
    Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en,
    That none shall have access unto Bianca
    Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.

GRUMIO    Katharina the curst!
    A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

HORTENSIO    Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
    And offer me disguised in sober robes
    To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
    Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;
    That so I may, by this device, at least
    Have leave and leisure to make love to her
    And unsuspected court her by herself.

GRUMIO    Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks,
    how the young folks lay their heads together!

    [Enter GREMIO, and LUCENTIO disguised]

    Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?

HORTENSIO    Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.
    Petruchio, stand by a while.

GRUMIO    A proper stripling and an amorous!

GREMIO    O, very well; I have perused the note.
    Hark you, sir: I'll have them very fairly bound:
    All books of love, see that at any hand;
    And see you read no other lectures to her:
    You understand me: over and beside
    Signior Baptista's liberality,
    I'll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,
    And let me have them very well perfumed
    For she is sweeter than perfume itself
    To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

LUCENTIO    Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you
    As for my patron, stand you so assured,
    As firmly as yourself were still in place:
    Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
    Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

GREMIO    O this learning, what a thing it is!

GRUMIO    O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

PETRUCHIO    Peace, sirrah!

HORTENSIO    Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.

GREMIO    And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
    Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
    I promised to inquire carefully
    About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:
    And by good fortune I have lighted well
    On this young man, for learning and behavior
    Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
    And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.

HORTENSIO    'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
    Hath promised me to help me to another,
    A fine musician to instruct our mistress;
    So shall I no whit be behind in duty
    To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

GREMIO    Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.

GRUMIO    And that his bags shall prove.

HORTENSIO    Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love:
    Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
    I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.
    Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
    Upon agreement from us to his liking,
    Will undertake to woo curst Katharina,
    Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

GREMIO    So said, so done, is well.
    Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

PETRUCHIO    I know she is an irksome brawling scold:
    If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

GREMIO    No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?

PETRUCHIO    Born in Verona, old Antonio's son:
    My father dead, my fortune lives for me;
    And I do hope good days and long to see.

GREMIO    O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!
    But if you have a stomach, to't i' God's name:
    You shall have me assisting you in all.
    But will you woo this wild-cat?

PETRUCHIO    Will I live?

GRUMIO    Will he woo her? ay, or I'll hang her.

PETRUCHIO    Why came I hither but to that intent?
    Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
    Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
    Have I not heard the sea puff'd up with winds
    Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
    Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
    And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?
    Have I not in a pitched battle heard
    Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?
    And do you tell me of a woman's tongue,
    That gives not half so great a blow to hear
    As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire?
    Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.

GRUMIO    For he fears none.

GREMIO    Hortensio, hark:
    This gentleman is happily arrived,
    My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

HORTENSIO    I promised we would be contributors
    And bear his charging of wooing, whatsoe'er.

GREMIO    And so we will, provided that he win her.

GRUMIO    I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

    [Enter TRANIO brave, and BIONDELLO]

TRANIO    Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,
    Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
    To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

BIONDELLO    He that has the two fair daughters: is't he you mean?

TRANIO    Even he, Biondello.

GREMIO    Hark you, sir; you mean not her to--

TRANIO    Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?

PETRUCHIO    Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

TRANIO    I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.

LUCENTIO    Well begun, Tranio.

HORTENSIO    Sir, a word ere you go;
    Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

TRANIO    And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

GREMIO    No; if without more words you will get you hence.

TRANIO    Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
    For me as for you?

GREMIO                      But so is not she.

TRANIO    For what reason, I beseech you?

GREMIO    For this reason, if you'll know,
    That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio.

HORTENSIO    That she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

TRANIO    Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen,
    Do me this right; hear me with patience.
    Baptista is a noble gentleman,
    To whom my father is not all unknown;
    And were his daughter fairer than she is,
    She may more suitors have and me for one.
    Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers;
    Then well one more may fair Bianca have:
    And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one,
    Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.

GREMIO    What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.

LUCENTIO    Sir, give him head: I know he'll prove a jade.

PETRUCHIO    Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

HORTENSIO    Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
    Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?

TRANIO    No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two,
    The one as famous for a scolding tongue
    As is the other for beauteous modesty.

PETRUCHIO    Sir, sir, the first's for me; let her go by.

GREMIO    Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules;
    And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.

PETRUCHIO    Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:
    The youngest daughter whom you hearken for
    Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
    And will not promise her to any man
    Until the elder sister first be wed:
    The younger then is free and not before.

TRANIO    If it be so, sir, that you are the man
    Must stead us all and me amongst the rest,
    And if you break the ice and do this feat,
    Achieve the elder, set the younger free
    For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
    Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

HORTENSIO    Sir, you say well and well you do conceive;
    And since you do profess to be a suitor,
    You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
    To whom we all rest generally beholding.

TRANIO    Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof,
    Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
    And quaff carouses to our mistress' health,
    And do as adversaries do in law,
    Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.


GRUMIO    |
    |  O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.
BIONDELLO    |


HORTENSIO    The motion's good indeed and be it so,
    Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT II



SCENE I    Padua. A room in BAPTISTA'S house.


    [Enter KATHARINA and BIANCA]

BIANCA    Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,
    To make a bondmaid and a slave of me;
    That I disdain: but for these other gawds,
    Unbind my hands, I'll pull them off myself,
    Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat;
    Or what you will command me will I do,
    So well I know my duty to my elders.

KATHARINA    Of all thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell
    Whom thou lovest best: see thou dissemble not.

BIANCA    Believe me, sister, of all the men alive
    I never yet beheld that special face
    Which I could fancy more than any other.

KATHARINA    Minion, thou liest. Is't not Hortensio?

BIANCA    If you affect him, sister, here I swear
    I'll plead for you myself, but you shall have
    him.

KATHARINA    O then, belike, you fancy riches more:
    You will have Gremio to keep you fair.

BIANCA    Is it for him you do envy me so?
    Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive
    You have but jested with me all this while:
    I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.

KATHARINA    If that be jest, then all the rest was so.

    [Strikes her]

    [Enter BAPTISTA]

BAPTISTA    Why, how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?
    Bianca, stand aside. Poor girl! she weeps.
    Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.
    For shame, thou helding of a devilish spirit,
    Why dost thou wrong her that did ne'er wrong thee?
    When did she cross thee with a bitter word?

KATHARINA    Her silence flouts me, and I'll be revenged.

    [Flies after BIANCA]

BAPTISTA    What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.

    [Exit BIANCA]

KATHARINA    What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see
    She is your treasure, she must have a husband;
    I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day
    And for your love to her lead apes in hell.
    Talk not to me: I will go sit and weep
    Till I can find occasion of revenge.

    [Exit]

BAPTISTA    Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?
    But who comes here?

    [Enter GREMIO, LUCENTIO in the habit of a mean man;
    PETRUCHIO, with HORTENSIO as a musician; and TRANIO,
    with BIONDELLO bearing a lute and books]

GREMIO    Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.

BAPTISTA    Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.
    God save you, gentlemen!

PETRUCHIO    And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter
    Call'd Katharina, fair and virtuous?

BAPTISTA    I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina.

GREMIO    You are too blunt: go to it orderly.

PETRUCHIO    You wrong me, Signior Gremio: give me leave.
    I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,
    That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,
    Her affability and bashful modesty,
    Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior,
    Am bold to show myself a forward guest
    Within your house, to make mine eye the witness
    Of that report which I so oft have heard.
    And, for an entrance to my entertainment,
    I do present you with a man of mine,

    [Presenting HORTENSIO]

    Cunning in music and the mathematics,
    To instruct her fully in those sciences,
    Whereof I know she is not ignorant:
    Accept of him, or else you do me wrong:
    His name is Licio, born in Mantua.

BAPTISTA    You're welcome, sir; and he, for your good sake.
    But for my daughter Katharina, this I know,
    She is not for your turn, the more my grief.

PETRUCHIO    I see you do not mean to part with her,
    Or else you like not of my company.

BAPTISTA    Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.
    Whence are you, sir? what may I call your name?

PETRUCHIO    Petruchio is my name; Antonio's son,
    A man well known throughout all Italy.

BAPTISTA    I know him well: you are welcome for his sake.

GREMIO    Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray,
    Let us, that are poor petitioners, speak too:
    Baccare! you are marvellous forward.

PETRUCHIO    O, pardon me, Signior Gremio; I would fain be doing.

GREMIO    I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your
    wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am
    sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself,
    that have been more kindly beholding to you than
    any, freely give unto you this young scholar,

    [Presenting LUCENTIO]

    that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning
    in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other
    in music and mathematics: his name is Cambio; pray,
    accept his service.

BAPTISTA    A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio.
    Welcome, good Cambio.

    [To TRANIO]

    But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger:
    may I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?

TRANIO    Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own,
    That, being a stranger in this city here,
    Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,
    Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.
    Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me,
    In the preferment of the eldest sister.
    This liberty is all that I request,
    That, upon knowledge of my parentage,
    I may have welcome 'mongst the rest that woo
    And free access and favour as the rest:
    And, toward the education of your daughters,
    I here bestow a simple instrument,
    And this small packet of Greek and Latin books:
    If you accept them, then their worth is great.

BAPTISTA    Lucentio is your name; of whence, I pray?

TRANIO    Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.

BAPTISTA    A mighty man of Pisa; by report
    I know him well: you are very welcome, sir,
    Take you the lute, and you the set of books;
    You shall go see your pupils presently.
    Holla, within!

    [Enter a Servant]

    Sirrah, lead these gentlemen
    To my daughters; and tell them both,
    These are their tutors: bid them use them well.

    [Exit Servant, with LUCENTIO and HORTENSIO,
    BIONDELLO following]

    We will go walk a little in the orchard,
    And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,
    And so I pray you all to think yourselves.

PETRUCHIO    Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste,
    And every day I cannot come to woo.
    You knew my father well, and in him me,
    Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,
    Which I have better'd rather than decreased:
    Then tell me, if I get your daughter's love,
    What dowry shall I have with her to wife?

BAPTISTA    After my death the one half of my lands,
    And in possession twenty thousand crowns.

PETRUCHIO    And, for that dowry, I'll assure her of
    Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,
    In all my lands and leases whatsoever:
    Let specialties be therefore drawn between us,
    That covenants may be kept on either hand.

BAPTISTA    Ay, when the special thing is well obtain'd,
    That is, her love; for that is all in all.

PETRUCHIO    Why, that is nothing: for I tell you, father,
    I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;
    And where two raging fires meet together
    They do consume the thing that feeds their fury:
    Though little fire grows great with little wind,
    Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all:
    So I to her and so she yields to me;
    For I am rough and woo not like a babe.

BAPTISTA    Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed!
    But be thou arm'd for some unhappy words.

PETRUCHIO    Ay, to the proof; as mountains are for winds,
    That shake not, though they blow perpetually.

    [Re-enter HORTENSIO, with his head broke]

BAPTISTA    How now, my friend! why dost thou look so pale?

HORTENSIO    For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.

BAPTISTA    What, will my daughter prove a good musician?

HORTENSIO    I think she'll sooner prove a soldier
    Iron may hold with her, but never lutes.

BAPTISTA    Why, then thou canst not break her to the lute?

HORTENSIO    Why, no; for she hath broke the lute to me.
    I did but tell her she mistook her frets,
    And bow'd her hand to teach her fingering;
    When, with a most impatient devilish spirit,
    'Frets, call you these?' quoth she; 'I'll fume
    with them:'
    And, with that word, she struck me on the head,
    And through the instrument my pate made way;
    And there I stood amazed for a while,
    As on a pillory, looking through the lute;
    While she did call me rascal fiddler
    And twangling Jack; with twenty such vile terms,
    As had she studied to misuse me so.

PETRUCHIO    Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench;
    I love her ten times more than e'er I did:
    O, how I long to have some chat with her!

BAPTISTA    Well, go with me and be not so discomfited:
    Proceed in practise with my younger daughter;
    She's apt to learn and thankful for good turns.
    Signior Petruchio, will you go with us,
    Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you?

PETRUCHIO    I pray you do.

    [Exeunt all but PETRUCHIO]

    I will attend her here,
    And woo her with some spirit when she comes.
    Say that she rail; why then I'll tell her plain
    She sings as sweetly as a nightingale:
    Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear
    As morning roses newly wash'd with dew:
    Say she be mute and will not speak a word;
    Then I'll commend her volubility,
    And say she uttereth piercing eloquence:
    If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks,
    As though she bid me stay by her a week:
    If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day
    When I shall ask the banns and when be married.
    But here she comes; and now, Petruchio, speak.

    [Enter KATHARINA]

    Good morrow, Kate; for that's your name, I hear.

KATHARINA    Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing:
    They call me Katharina that do talk of me.

PETRUCHIO    You lie, in faith; for you are call'd plain Kate,
    And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst;
    But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom
    Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate,
    For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate,
    Take this of me, Kate of my consolation;
    Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,
    Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,
    Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,
    Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.

KATHARINA    Moved! in good time: let him that moved you hither
    Remove you hence: I knew you at the first
    You were a moveable.

PETRUCHIO    Why, what's a moveable?

KATHARINA    A join'd-stool.

PETRUCHIO    Thou hast hit it: come, sit on me.

KATHARINA    Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

PETRUCHIO    Women are made to bear, and so are you.

KATHARINA    No such jade as you, if me you mean.

PETRUCHIO    Alas! good Kate, I will not burden thee;
    For, knowing thee to be but young and light--

KATHARINA    Too light for such a swain as you to catch;
    And yet as heavy as my weight should be.

PETRUCHIO    Should be! should--buzz!

KATHARINA    Well ta'en, and like a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO    O slow-wing'd turtle! shall a buzzard take thee?

KATHARINA    Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO    Come, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry.

KATHARINA    If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

PETRUCHIO    My remedy is then, to pluck it out.

KATHARINA    Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,

PETRUCHIO    Who knows not where a wasp does
    wear his sting? In his tail.

KATHARINA    In his tongue.

PETRUCHIO    Whose tongue?

KATHARINA    Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.

PETRUCHIO    What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,
    Good Kate; I am a gentleman.

KATHARINA    That I'll try.

    [She strikes him]

PETRUCHIO    I swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again.

KATHARINA    So may you lose your arms:
    If you strike me, you are no gentleman;
    And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

PETRUCHIO    A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!

KATHARINA    What is your crest? a coxcomb?

PETRUCHIO    A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.

KATHARINA    No cock of mine; you crow too like a craven.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.

KATHARINA    It is my fashion, when I see a crab.

PETRUCHIO    Why, here's no crab; and therefore look not sour.

KATHARINA    There is, there is.

PETRUCHIO    Then show it me.

KATHARINA    Had I a glass, I would.

PETRUCHIO    What, you mean my face?

KATHARINA    Well aim'd of such a young one.

PETRUCHIO    Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you.

KATHARINA    Yet you are wither'd.

PETRUCHIO    'Tis with cares.

KATHARINA    I care not.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, hear you, Kate: in sooth you scape not so.

KATHARINA    I chafe you, if I tarry: let me go.

PETRUCHIO    No, not a whit: I find you passing gentle.
    'Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen,
    And now I find report a very liar;
    For thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,
    But slow in speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers:
    Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance,
    Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will,
    Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk,
    But thou with mildness entertain'st thy wooers,
    With gentle conference, soft and affable.
    Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?
    O slanderous world! Kate like the hazel-twig
    Is straight and slender and as brown in hue
    As hazel nuts and sweeter than the kernels.
    O, let me see thee walk: thou dost not halt.

KATHARINA    Go, fool, and whom thou keep'st command.

PETRUCHIO    Did ever Dian so become a grove
    As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?
    O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;
    And then let Kate be chaste and Dian sportful!

KATHARINA    Where did you study all this goodly speech?

PETRUCHIO    It is extempore, from my mother-wit.

KATHARINA    A witty mother! witless else her son.

PETRUCHIO    Am I not wise?

KATHARINA    Yes; keep you warm.

PETRUCHIO    Marry, so I mean, sweet Katharina, in thy bed:
    And therefore, setting all this chat aside,
    Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
    That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;
    And, Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
    Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn;
    For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,
    Thy beauty, that doth make me like thee well,
    Thou must be married to no man but me;
    For I am he am born to tame you Kate,
    And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate
    Conformable as other household Kates.
    Here comes your father: never make denial;
    I must and will have Katharina to my wife.

    [Re-enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and TRANIO]

BAPTISTA    Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?

PETRUCHIO    How but well, sir? how but well?
    It were impossible I should speed amiss.

BAPTISTA    Why, how now, daughter Katharina! in your dumps?

KATHARINA    Call you me daughter? now, I promise you
    You have show'd a tender fatherly regard,
    To wish me wed to one half lunatic;
    A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack,
    That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

PETRUCHIO    Father, 'tis thus: yourself and all the world,
    That talk'd of her, have talk'd amiss of her:
    If she be curst, it is for policy,
    For she's not froward, but modest as the dove;
    She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;
    For patience she will prove a second Grissel,
    And Roman Lucrece for her chastity:
    And to conclude, we have 'greed so well together,
    That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.

KATHARINA    I'll see thee hang'd on Sunday first.

GREMIO    Hark, Petruchio; she says she'll see thee
    hang'd first.

TRANIO    Is this your speeding? nay, then, good night our part!

PETRUCHIO    Be patient, gentlemen; I choose her for myself:
    If she and I be pleased, what's that to you?
    'Tis bargain'd 'twixt us twain, being alone,
    That she shall still be curst in company.
    I tell you, 'tis incredible to believe
    How much she loves me: O, the kindest Kate!
    She hung about my neck; and kiss on kiss
    She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,
    That in a twink she won me to her love.
    O, you are novices! 'tis a world to see,
    How tame, when men and women are alone,
    A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.
    Give me thy hand, Kate: I will unto Venice,
    To buy apparel 'gainst the wedding-day.
    Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;
    I will be sure my Katharina shall be fine.

BAPTISTA    I know not what to say: but give me your hands;
    God send you joy, Petruchio! 'tis a match.


GREMIO    |
    |  Amen, say we: we will be witnesses.
TRANIO    |


PETRUCHIO    Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu;
    I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace:
    We will have rings and things and fine array;
    And kiss me, Kate, we will be married o'Sunday.

    [Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA severally]

GREMIO    Was ever match clapp'd up so suddenly?

BAPTISTA    Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant's part,
    And venture madly on a desperate mart.

TRANIO    'Twas a commodity lay fretting by you:
    'Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

BAPTISTA    The gain I seek is, quiet in the match.

GREMIO    No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.
    But now, Baptists, to your younger daughter:
    Now is the day we long have looked for:
    I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

TRANIO    And I am one that love Bianca more
    Than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO    Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

TRANIO    Graybeard, thy love doth freeze.

GREMIO    But thine doth fry.
    Skipper, stand back: 'tis age that nourisheth.

TRANIO    But youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth.

BAPTISTA    Content you, gentlemen: I will compound this strife:
    'Tis deeds must win the prize; and he of both
    That can assure my daughter greatest dower
    Shall have my Bianca's love.
    Say, Signior Gremio, What can you assure her?

GREMIO    First, as you know, my house within the city
    Is richly furnished with plate and gold;
    Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;
    My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;
    In ivory coffers I have stuff'd my crowns;
    In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,
    Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,
    Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss'd with pearl,
    Valance of Venice gold in needlework,
    Pewter and brass and all things that belong
    To house or housekeeping: then, at my farm
    I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,
    Sixscore fat oxen standing in my stalls,
    And all things answerable to this portion.
    Myself am struck in years, I must confess;
    And if I die to-morrow, this is hers,
    If whilst I live she will be only mine.

TRANIO    That 'only' came well in. Sir, list to me:
    I am my father's heir and only son:
    If I may have your daughter to my wife,
    I'll leave her houses three or four as good,
    Within rich Pisa walls, as any one
    Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;
    Besides two thousand ducats by the year
    Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.
    What, have I pinch'd you, Signior Gremio?

GREMIO    Two thousand ducats by the year of land!
    My land amounts not to so much in all:
    That she shall have; besides an argosy
    That now is lying in Marseilles' road.
    What, have I choked you with an argosy?

TRANIO    Gremio, 'tis known my father hath no less
    Than three great argosies; besides two galliases,
    And twelve tight galleys: these I will assure her,
    And twice as much, whate'er thou offer'st next.

GREMIO    Nay, I have offer'd all, I have no more;
    And she can have no more than all I have:
    If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

TRANIO    Why, then the maid is mine from all the world,
    By your firm promise: Gremio is out-vied.

BAPTISTA    I must confess your offer is the best;
    And, let your father make her the assurance,
    She is your own; else, you must pardon me,
    if you should die before him, where's her dower?

TRANIO    That's but a cavil: he is old, I young.

GREMIO    And may not young men die, as well as old?

BAPTISTA    Well, gentlemen,
    I am thus resolved: on Sunday next you know
    My daughter Katharina is to be married:
    Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca
    Be bride to you, if you this assurance;
    If not, Signior Gremio:
    And so, I take my leave, and thank you both.

GREMIO    Adieu, good neighbour.

    [Exit BAPTISTA]

        Now I fear thee not:
    Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool
    To give thee all, and in his waning age
    Set foot under thy table: tut, a toy!
    An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.

    [Exit]

TRANIO    A vengeance on your crafty wither'd hide!
    Yet I have faced it with a card of ten.
    'Tis in my head to do my master good:
    I see no reason but supposed Lucentio
    Must get a father, call'd 'supposed Vincentio;'
    And that's a wonder: fathers commonly
    Do get their children; but in this case of wooing,
    A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

    [Exit]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT III



SCENE I    Padua. BAPTISTA'S house.


    [Enter LUCENTIO, HORTENSIO, and BIANCA]

LUCENTIO    Fiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir:
    Have you so soon forgot the entertainment
    Her sister Katharina welcomed you withal?

HORTENSIO    But, wrangling pedant, this is
    The patroness of heavenly harmony:
    Then give me leave to have prerogative;
    And when in music we have spent an hour,
    Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.

LUCENTIO    Preposterous ass, that never read so far
    To know the cause why music was ordain'd!
    Was it not to refresh the mind of man
    After his studies or his usual pain?
    Then give me leave to read philosophy,
    And while I pause, serve in your harmony.

HORTENSIO    Sirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.

BIANCA    Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong,
    To strive for that which resteth in my choice:
    I am no breeching scholar in the schools;
    I'll not be tied to hours nor 'pointed times,
    But learn my lessons as I please myself.
    And, to cut off all strife, here sit we down:
    Take you your instrument, play you the whiles;
    His lecture will be done ere you have tuned.

HORTENSIO    You'll leave his lecture when I am in tune?

LUCENTIO    That will be never: tune your instrument.

BIANCA    Where left we last?

LUCENTIO    Here, madam:
    'Hic ibat Simois; hic est Sigeia tellus;
    Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.'

BIANCA    Construe them.

LUCENTIO    'Hic ibat,' as I told you before, 'Simois,' I am
    Lucentio, 'hic est,' son unto Vincentio of Pisa,
    'Sigeia tellus,' disguised thus to get your love;
    'Hic steterat,' and that Lucentio that comes
    a-wooing, 'Priami,' is my man Tranio, 'regia,'
    bearing my port, 'celsa senis,' that we might
    beguile the old pantaloon.

HORTENSIO    Madam, my instrument's in tune.

BIANCA    Let's hear. O fie! the treble jars.

LUCENTIO    Spit in the hole, man, and tune again.

BIANCA    Now let me see if I can construe it: 'Hic ibat
    Simois,' I know you not, 'hic est Sigeia tellus,' I
    trust you not; 'Hic steterat Priami,' take heed
    he hear us not, 'regia,' presume not, 'celsa senis,'
    despair not.

HORTENSIO    Madam, 'tis now in tune.

LUCENTIO    All but the base.

HORTENSIO    The base is right; 'tis the base knave that jars.

    [Aside]

    How fiery and forward our pedant is!
    Now, for my life, the knave doth court my love:
    Pedascule, I'll watch you better yet.

BIANCA    In time I may believe, yet I mistrust.

LUCENTIO    Mistrust it not: for, sure, AEacides
    Was Ajax, call'd so from his grandfather.

BIANCA    I must believe my master; else, I promise you,
    I should be arguing still upon that doubt:
    But let it rest. Now, Licio, to you:
    Good masters, take it not unkindly, pray,
    That I have been thus pleasant with you both.

HORTENSIO    You may go walk, and give me leave a while:
    My lessons make no music in three parts.

LUCENTIO    Are you so formal, sir? well, I must wait,

    [Aside]

    And watch withal; for, but I be deceived,
    Our fine musician groweth amorous.

HORTENSIO    Madam, before you touch the instrument,
    To learn the order of my fingering,
    I must begin with rudiments of art;
    To teach you gamut in a briefer sort,
    More pleasant, pithy and effectual,
    Than hath been taught by any of my trade:
    And there it is in writing, fairly drawn.

BIANCA    Why, I am past my gamut long ago.

HORTENSIO    Yet read the gamut of Hortensio.

BIANCA    [Reads]  ''Gamut' I am, the ground of all accord,
    'A re,' to Plead Hortensio's passion;
    'B mi,' Bianca, take him for thy lord,
    'C fa ut,' that loves with all affection:
    'D sol re,' one clef, two notes have I:
    'E la mi,' show pity, or I die.'
    Call you this gamut? tut, I like it not:
    Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice,
    To change true rules for old inventions.

    [Enter a Servant]

Servant    Mistress, your father prays you leave your books
    And help to dress your sister's chamber up:
    You know to-morrow is the wedding-day.

BIANCA    Farewell, sweet masters both; I must be gone.

    [Exeunt BIANCA and Servant]

LUCENTIO    Faith, mistress, then I have no cause to stay.

    [Exit]

HORTENSIO    But I have cause to pry into this pedant:
    Methinks he looks as though he were in love:
    Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble
    To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale,
    Seize thee that list: if once I find thee ranging,
    Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.

    [Exit]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT III



SCENE II    Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.


    [Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA,
    LUCENTIO, and others, attendants]

BAPTISTA    [To TRANIO]  Signior Lucentio, this is the
    'pointed day.
    That Katharina and Petruchio should be married,
    And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
    What will be said? what mockery will it be,
    To want the bridegroom when the priest attends
    To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
    What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

KATHARINA    No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced
    To give my hand opposed against my heart
    Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;
    Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure.
    I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
    Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
    And, to be noted for a merry man,
    He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
    Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
    Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
    Now must the world point at poor Katharina,
    And say, 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
    If it would please him come and marry her!'

TRANIO    Patience, good Katharina, and Baptista too.
    Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
    Whatever fortune stays him from his word:
    Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
    Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.

KATHARINA    Would Katharina had never seen him though!

    [Exit weeping, followed by BIANCA and others]

BAPTISTA    Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;
    For such an injury would vex a very saint,
    Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

    [Enter BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO    Master, master! news, old news, and such news as
    you never heard of!

BAPTISTA    Is it new and old too? how may that be?

BIONDELLO    Why, is it not news, to hear of Petruchio's coming?

BAPTISTA    Is he come?

BIONDELLO    Why, no, sir.

BAPTISTA    What then?

BIONDELLO    He is coming.

BAPTISTA    When will he be here?

BIONDELLO    When he stands where I am and sees you there.

TRANIO    But say, what to thine old news?

BIONDELLO    Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old
    jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair
    of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled,
    another laced, an old rusty sword ta'en out of the
    town-armory, with a broken hilt, and chapeless;
    with two broken points: his horse hipped with an
    old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred;
    besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose
    in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected
    with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with
    spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives,
    stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the
    bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten;
    near-legged before and with, a half-chequed bit
    and a head-stall of sheeps leather which, being
    restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been
    often burst and now repaired with knots; one girth
    six time pieced and a woman's crupper of velure,
    which hath two letters for her name fairly set down
    in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.

BAPTISTA    Who comes with him?

BIONDELLO    O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned
    like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a
    kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red
    and blue list; an old hat and 'the humour of forty
    fancies' pricked in't for a feather: a monster, a
    very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian
    footboy or a gentleman's lackey.

TRANIO    'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
    Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell'd.

BAPTISTA    I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.

BIONDELLO    Why, sir, he comes not.

BAPTISTA    Didst thou not say he comes?

BIONDELLO    Who? that Petruchio came?

BAPTISTA    Ay, that Petruchio came.

BIONDELLO    No, sir, I say his horse comes, with him on his back.

BAPTISTA    Why, that's all one.

BIONDELLO       Nay, by Saint Jamy,
    I hold you a penny,
    A horse and a man
    Is more than one,
    And yet not many.

    [Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO]

PETRUCHIO    Come, where be these gallants? who's at home?

BAPTISTA    You are welcome, sir.

PETRUCHIO    And yet I come not well.

BAPTISTA    And yet you halt not.

TRANIO    Not so well apparell'd
    As I wish you were.

PETRUCHIO    Were it better, I should rush in thus.
    But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride?
    How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown:
    And wherefore gaze this goodly company,
    As if they saw some wondrous monument,
    Some comet or unusual prodigy?

BAPTISTA    Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day:
    First were we sad, fearing you would not come;
    Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.
    Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate,
    An eye-sore to our solemn festival!

TRANIO    And tells us, what occasion of import
    Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife,
    And sent you hither so unlike yourself?

PETRUCHIO    Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
    Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,
    Though in some part enforced to digress;
    Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse
    As you shall well be satisfied withal.
    But where is Kate? I stay too long from her:
    The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.

TRANIO    See not your bride in these unreverent robes:
    Go to my chamber; Put on clothes of mine.

PETRUCHIO    Not I, believe me: thus I'll visit her.

BAPTISTA    But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.

PETRUCHIO    Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with words:
    To me she's married, not unto my clothes:
    Could I repair what she will wear in me,
    As I can change these poor accoutrements,
    'Twere well for Kate and better for myself.
    But what a fool am I to chat with you,
    When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
    And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

    [Exeunt PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO]

TRANIO    He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
    We will persuade him, be it possible,
    To put on better ere he go to church.

BAPTISTA    I'll after him, and see the event of this.

    [Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and attendants]

TRANIO    But to her love concerneth us to add
    Her father's liking: which to bring to pass,
    As I before unparted to your worship,
    I am to get a man,--whate'er he be,
    It skills not much. we'll fit him to our turn,--
    And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;
    And make assurance here in Padua
    Of greater sums than I have promised.
    So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
    And marry sweet Bianca with consent.

LUCENTIO    Were it not that my fellow-school-master
    Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly,
    'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;
    Which once perform'd, let all the world say no,
    I'll keep mine own, despite of all the world.

TRANIO    That by degrees we mean to look into,
    And watch our vantage in this business:
    We'll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,
    The narrow-prying father, Minola,
    The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
    All for my master's sake, Lucentio.

    [Re-enter GREMIO]

    Signior Gremio, came you from the church?

GREMIO    As willingly as e'er I came from school.

TRANIO    And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

GREMIO    A bridegroom say you? 'tis a groom indeed,
    A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

TRANIO    Curster than she? why, 'tis impossible.

GREMIO    Why he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

TRANIO    Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.

GREMIO    Tut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!
    I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
    Should ask, if Katharina should be his wife,
    'Ay, by gogs-wouns,' quoth he; and swore so loud,
    That, all-amazed, the priest let fall the book;
    And, as he stoop'd again to take it up,
    The mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff
    That down fell priest and book and book and priest:
    'Now take them up,' quoth he, 'if any list.'

TRANIO    What said the wench when he rose again?

GREMIO    Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd and swore,
    As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
    But after many ceremonies done,
    He calls for wine: 'A health!' quoth he, as if
    He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
    After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel
    And threw the sops all in the sexton's face;
    Having no other reason
    But that his beard grew thin and hungerly
    And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.
    This done, he took the bride about the neck
    And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack
    That at the parting all the church did echo:
    And I seeing this came thence for very shame;
    And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
    Such a mad marriage never was before:
    Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.

    [Music]

    [Re-enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA,
    HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and Train]


PETRUCHIO    Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:
    I know you think to dine with me to-day,
    And have prepared great store of wedding cheer;
    But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
    And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

BAPTISTA    Is't possible you will away to-night?

PETRUCHIO    I must away to-day, before night come:
    Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
    You would entreat me rather go than stay.
    And, honest company, I thank you all,
    That have beheld me give away myself
    To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife:
    Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
    For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

TRANIO    Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

PETRUCHIO    It may not be.

GREMIO                      Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO    It cannot be.

KATHARINA                      Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO    I am content.

KATHARINA                      Are you content to stay?

PETRUCHIO    I am content you shall entreat me stay;
    But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

KATHARINA    Now, if you love me, stay.

PETRUCHIO    Grumio, my horse.

GRUMIO    Ay, sir, they be ready: the oats have eaten the horses.

KATHARINA    Nay, then,
    Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;
    No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.
    The door is open, sir; there lies your way;
    You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;
    For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself:
    'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom,
    That take it on you at the first so roundly.

PETRUCHIO    O Kate, content thee; prithee, be not angry.

KATHARINA    I will be angry: what hast thou to do?
    Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

GREMIO    Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

KATARINA    Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:
    I see a woman may be made a fool,
    If she had not a spirit to resist.

PETRUCHIO    They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
    Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
    Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
    Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
    Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves:
    But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
    Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
    I will be master of what is mine own:
    She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
    My household stuff, my field, my barn,
    My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing;
    And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;
    I'll bring mine action on the proudest he
    That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
    Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
    Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
    Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch
    thee, Kate:
    I'll buckler thee against a million.

    [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, and GRUMIO]

BAPTISTA    Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

GREMIO    Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.

TRANIO    Of all mad matches never was the like.

LUCENTIO    Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?

BIANCA    That, being mad herself, she's madly mated.

GREMIO    I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

BAPTISTA    Neighbours and friends, though bride and
    bridegroom wants
    For to supply the places at the table,
    You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
    Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place:
    And let Bianca take her sister's room.

TRANIO    Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

BAPTISTA    She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT IV



SCENE I    PETRUCHIO'S country house.


    [Enter GRUMIO]

GRUMIO    Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and
    all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever
    man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent
    before to make a fire, and they are coming after to
    warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon
    hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my
    tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my
    belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but
    I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for,
    considering the weather, a taller man than I will
    take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.

    [Enter CURTIS]

CURTIS    Who is that calls so coldly?

GRUMIO    A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide
    from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run
    but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.

CURTIS    Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

GRUMIO    O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast
    on no water.

CURTIS    Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?

GRUMIO    She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou
    knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it
    hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and
    myself, fellow Curtis.

CURTIS    Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

GRUMIO    Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and
    so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a
    fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress,
    whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon
    feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

CURTIS    I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?

GRUMIO    A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and
    therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for
    my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

CURTIS    There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.

GRUMIO    Why, 'Jack, boy! ho! boy!' and as much news as
    will thaw.

CURTIS    Come, you are so full of cony-catching!

GRUMIO    Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme cold.
    Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house
    trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the
    serving-men in their new fustian, their white
    stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on?
    Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without,
    the carpets laid, and every thing in order?

CURTIS    All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

GRUMIO    First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
    mistress fallen out.

CURTIS    How?

GRUMIO    Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
    hangs a tale.

CURTIS    Let's ha't, good Grumio.

GRUMIO    Lend thine ear.

CURTIS    Here.

GRUMIO    There.

    [Strikes him]

CURTIS    This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.

GRUMIO    And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale: and this
    cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech
    listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a
    foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress,--

CURTIS    Both of one horse?

GRUMIO    What's that to thee?

CURTIS    Why, a horse.

GRUMIO    Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me,
    thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she
    under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how
    miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her
    with the horse upon her, how he beat me because
    her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt
    to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed,
    that never prayed before, how I cried, how the
    horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I
    lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory,
    which now shall die in oblivion and thou return
    unexperienced to thy grave.

CURTIS    By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.

GRUMIO    Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall
    find when he comes home. But what talk I of this?
    Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip,
    Walter, Sugarsop and the rest: let their heads be
    sleekly combed their blue coats brushed and their
    garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy
    with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair
    of my master's horse-tail till they kiss their
    hands. Are they all ready?

CURTIS    They are.

GRUMIO    Call them forth.

CURTIS    Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to
    countenance my mistress.

GRUMIO    Why, she hath a face of her own.

CURTIS    Who knows not that?

GRUMIO    Thou, it seems, that calls for company to
    countenance her.

CURTIS    I call them forth to credit her.

GRUMIO    Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.

    [Enter four or five Serving-men]

NATHANIEL    Welcome home, Grumio!

PHILIP    How now, Grumio!

JOSEPH    What, Grumio!

NICHOLAS    Fellow Grumio!

NATHANIEL    How now, old lad?

GRUMIO    Welcome, you;--how now, you;-- what, you;--fellow,
    you;--and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce
    companions, is all ready, and all things neat?

NATHANIEL    All things is ready. How near is our master?

GRUMIO    E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be
    not--Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.

    [Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA]

PETRUCHIO    Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
    To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse!
    Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?

ALL SERVING-MEN    Here, here, sir; here, sir.

PETRUCHIO    Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
    You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms!
    What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?
    Where is the foolish knave I sent before?

GRUMIO    Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.

PETRUCHIO    You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!
    Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
    And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?

GRUMIO    Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made,
    And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel;
    There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
    And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing:
    There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;
    The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
    Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

PETRUCHIO    Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.

    [Exeunt Servants]

    [Singing]

    Where is the life that late I led--
    Where are those--Sit down, Kate, and welcome.--
    Sound, sound, sound, sound!

    [Re-enter Servants with supper]

    Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.
    Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when?

    [Sings]

    It was the friar of orders grey,
    As he forth walked on his way:--
    Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
    Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.

    [Strikes him]

    Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!
    Where's my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,
    And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:
    One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.
    Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?

    [Enter one with water]

    Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
    You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?

    [Strikes him]

KATHARINA    Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.

PETRUCHIO    A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave!
    Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
    Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?
    What's this? mutton?

First Servant    Ay.

PETRUCHIO    Who brought it?

PETER    I.

PETRUCHIO    'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
    What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
    How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
    And serve it thus to me that love it not?
    Theretake it to you, trenchers, cups, and all;

    [Throws the meat, &c. about the stage]

    You heedless joltheads and unmanner'd slaves!
    What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.

KATHARINA    I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet:
    The meat was well, if you were so contented.

PETRUCHIO    I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away;
    And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
    For it engenders choler, planteth anger;
    And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
    Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,
    Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
    Be patient; to-morrow 't shall be mended,
    And, for this night, we'll fast for company:
    Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.

    [Exeunt]

    [Re-enter Servants severally]

NATHANIEL    Peter, didst ever see the like?

PETER    He kills her in her own humour.

    [Re-enter CURTIS]

GRUMIO    Where is he?

CURTIS    In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her;
    And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
    Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
    And sits as one new-risen from a dream.
    Away, away! for he is coming hither.

    [Exeunt]

    [Re-enter PETRUCHIO]

PETRUCHIO    Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
    And 'tis my hope to end successfully.
    My falcon now is sharp and passing empty;
    And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged,
    For then she never looks upon her lure.
    Another way I have to man my haggard,
    To make her come and know her keeper's call,
    That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
    That bate and beat and will not be obedient.
    She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;
    Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not;
    As with the meat, some undeserved fault
    I'll find about the making of the bed;
    And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
    This way the coverlet, another way the sheets:
    Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
    That all is done in reverend care of her;
    And in conclusion she shall watch all night:
    And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl
    And with the clamour keep her still awake.
    This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
    And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
    He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
    Now let him speak: 'tis charity to show.

    [Exit]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT IV



SCENE II    Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.


    [Enter TRANIO and HORTENSIO]

TRANIO    Is't possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca
    Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?
    I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.

HORTENSIO    Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,
    Stand by and mark the manner of his teaching.

    [Enter BIANCA and LUCENTIO]

LUCENTIO    Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?

BIANCA    What, master, read you? first resolve me that.

LUCENTIO    I read that I profess, the Art to Love.

BIANCA    And may you prove, sir, master of your art!

LUCENTIO    While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart!

HORTENSIO    Quick proceeders, marry! Now, tell me, I pray,
    You that durst swear at your mistress Bianca
    Loved none in the world so well as Lucentio.

TRANIO    O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!
    I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.

HORTENSIO    Mistake no more: I am not Licio,
    Nor a musician, as I seem to be;
    But one that scorn to live in this disguise,
    For such a one as leaves a gentleman,
    And makes a god of such a cullion:
    Know, sir, that I am call'd Hortensio.

TRANIO    Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
    Of your entire affection to Bianca;
    And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness,
    I will with you, if you be so contented,
    Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.

HORTENSIO    See, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,
    Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow
    Never to woo her no more, but do forswear her,
    As one unworthy all the former favours
    That I have fondly flatter'd her withal.

TRANIO    And here I take the unfeigned oath,
    Never to marry with her though she would entreat:
    Fie on her! see, how beastly she doth court him!

HORTENSIO    Would all the world but he had quite forsworn!
    For me, that I may surely keep mine oath,
    I will be married to a wealthy widow,
    Ere three days pass, which hath as long loved me
    As I have loved this proud disdainful haggard.
    And so farewell, Signior Lucentio.
    Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,
    Shall win my love: and so I take my leave,
    In resolution as I swore before.

    [Exit]

TRANIO    Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
    As 'longeth to a lover's blessed case!
    Nay, I have ta'en you napping, gentle love,
    And have forsworn you with Hortensio.

BIANCA    Tranio, you jest: but have you both forsworn me?

TRANIO    Mistress, we have.

LUCENTIO                      Then we are rid of Licio.

TRANIO    I' faith, he'll have a lusty widow now,
    That shall be wood and wedded in a day.

BIANCA    God give him joy!

TRANIO    Ay, and he'll tame her.

BIANCA    He says so, Tranio.

TRANIO    Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school.

BIANCA    The taming-school! what, is there such a place?

TRANIO    Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master;
    That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long,
    To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.

    [Enter BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO    O master, master, I have watch'd so long
    That I am dog-weary: but at last I spied
    An ancient angel coming down the hill,
    Will serve the turn.

TRANIO    What is he, Biondello?

BIONDELLO    Master, a mercatante, or a pedant,
    I know not what; but format in apparel,
    In gait and countenance surely like a father.

LUCENTIO    And what of him, Tranio?

TRANIO    If he be credulous and trust my tale,
    I'll make him glad to seem Vincentio,
    And give assurance to Baptista Minola,
    As if he were the right Vincentio
    Take in your love, and then let me alone.

    [Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA]

    [Enter a Pedant]

Pedant    God save you, sir!

TRANIO                      And you, sir! you are welcome.
    Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest?

Pedant    Sir, at the farthest for a week or two:
    But then up farther, and as for as Rome;
    And so to Tripoli, if God lend me life.

TRANIO    What countryman, I pray?

Pedant    Of Mantua.

TRANIO    Of Mantua, sir? marry, God forbid!
    And come to Padua, careless of your life?

Pedant    My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard.

TRANIO    'Tis death for any one in Mantua
    To come to Padua. Know you not the cause?
    Your ships are stay'd at Venice, and the duke,
    For private quarrel 'twixt your duke and him,
    Hath publish'd and proclaim'd it openly:
    'Tis, marvel, but that you are but newly come,
    You might have heard it else proclaim'd about.

Pedant    Alas! sir, it is worse for me than so;
    For I have bills for money by exchange
    From Florence and must here deliver them.

TRANIO    Well, sir, to do you courtesy,
    This will I do, and this I will advise you:
    First, tell me, have you ever been at Pisa?
Pedant    Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been,
    Pisa renowned for grave citizens.

TRANIO    Among them know you one Vincentio?

Pedant    I know him not, but I have heard of him;
    A merchant of incomparable wealth.

TRANIO    He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,
    In countenance somewhat doth resemble you.

BIONDELLO    [Aside]  As much as an apple doth an oyster,
    and all one.

TRANIO    To save your life in this extremity,
    This favour will I do you for his sake;
    And think it not the worst of an your fortunes
    That you are like to Sir Vincentio.
    His name and credit shall you undertake,
    And in my house you shall be friendly lodged:
    Look that you take upon you as you should;
    You understand me, sir: so shall you stay
    Till you have done your business in the city:
    If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.

Pedant    O sir, I do; and will repute you ever
    The patron of my life and liberty.

TRANIO    Then go with me to make the matter good.
    This, by the way, I let you understand;
    my father is here look'd for every day,
    To pass assurance of a dower in marriage
    'Twixt me and one Baptista's daughter here:
    In all these circumstances I'll instruct you:
    Go with me to clothe you as becomes you.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT IV



SCENE III    A room in PETRUCHIO'S house.


    [Enter KATHARINA and GRUMIO]

GRUMIO    No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

KATHARINA    The more my wrong, the more his spite appears:
    What, did he marry me to famish me?
    Beggars, that come unto my father's door,
    Upon entreaty have a present aims;
    If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:
    But I, who never knew how to entreat,
    Nor never needed that I should entreat,
    Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
    With oath kept waking and with brawling fed:
    And that which spites me more than all these wants,
    He does it under name of perfect love;
    As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,
    'Twere deadly sickness or else present death.
    I prithee go and get me some repast;
    I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

GRUMIO    What say you to a neat's foot?

KATHARINA    'Tis passing good: I prithee let me have it.

GRUMIO    I fear it is too choleric a meat.
    How say you to a fat tripe finely broil'd?

KATHARINA    I like it well: good Grumio, fetch it me.

GRUMIO    I cannot tell; I fear 'tis choleric.
    What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?

KATHARINA    A dish that I do love to feed upon.

GRUMIO    Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.

KATHARINA    Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.

GRUMIO    Nay then, I will not: you shall have the mustard,
    Or else you get no beef of Grumio.

KATHARINA    Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt.

GRUMIO    Why then, the mustard without the beef.

KATHARINA    Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,

    [Beats him]

    That feed'st me with the very name of meat:
    Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
    That triumph thus upon my misery!
    Go, get thee gone, I say.

    [Enter PETRUCHIO and HORTENSIO with meat]

PETRUCHIO    How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?

HORTENSIO    Mistress, what cheer?

KATHARINA    Faith, as cold as can be.

PETRUCHIO    Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
    Here love; thou see'st how diligent I am
    To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee:
    I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
    What, not a word? Nay, then thou lovest it not;
    And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
    Here, take away this dish.

KATHARINA    I pray you, let it stand.

PETRUCHIO    The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
    And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

KATHARINA    I thank you, sir.

HORTENSIO    Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
    Come, mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.

PETRUCHIO    [Aside]  Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.
    Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
    Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
    Will we return unto thy father's house
    And revel it as bravely as the best,
    With silken coats and caps and golden rings,
    With ruffs and cuffs and fardingales and things;
    With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,
    With amber bracelets, beads and all this knavery.
    What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
    To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

    [Enter Tailor]

    Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
    Lay forth the gown.

    [Enter Haberdasher]

    What news with you, sir?

Haberdasher    Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

PETRUCHIO    Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
    A velvet dish: fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy:
    Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
    A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap:
    Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.

KATHARINA    I'll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
    And gentlewomen wear such caps as these

PETRUCHIO    When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
    And not till then.

HORTENSIO    [Aside]  That will not be in haste.

KATHARINA    Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
    And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
    Your betters have endured me say my mind,
    And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
    My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
    Or else my heart concealing it will break,
    And rather than it shall, I will be free
    Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

PETRUCHIO    Why, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap,
    A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie:
    I love thee well, in that thou likest it not.

KATHARINA    Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
    And it I will have, or I will have none.

    [Exit Haberdasher]

PETRUCHIO    Thy gown? why, ay: come, tailor, let us see't.
    O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
    What's this? a sleeve? 'tis like a demi-cannon:
    What, up and down, carved like an apple-tart?
    Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
    Like to a censer in a barber's shop:
    Why, what, i' devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?

HORTENSIO    [Aside]  I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.

Tailor    You bid me make it orderly and well,
    According to the fashion and the time.

PETRUCHIO    Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd,
    I did not bid you mar it to the time.
    Go, hop me over every kennel home,
    For you shall hop without my custom, sir:
    I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it.

KATHARINA    I never saw a better-fashion'd gown,
    More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable:
    Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

PETRUCHIO    Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

Tailor    She says your worship means to make
    a puppet of her.

PETRUCHIO    O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,
    thou thimble,
    Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
    Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!
    Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread?
    Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
    Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard
    As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou livest!
    I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.

Tailor    Your worship is deceived; the gown is made
    Just as my master had direction:
    Grumio gave order how it should be done.

GRUMIO    I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

Tailor    But how did you desire it should be made?

GRUMIO    Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

Tailor    But did you not request to have it cut?

GRUMIO    Thou hast faced many things.

Tailor    I have.

GRUMIO    Face not me: thou hast braved many men; brave not
    me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto
    thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did
    not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest.

Tailor    Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify

PETRUCHIO    Read it.

GRUMIO    The note lies in's throat, if he say I said so.

Tailor    [Reads]  'Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown:'

GRUMIO    Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in
    the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom
    of brown thread: I said a gown.

PETRUCHIO    Proceed.

Tailor    [Reads]  'With a small compassed cape:'

GRUMIO    I confess the cape.

Tailor    [Reads]  'With a trunk sleeve:'

GRUMIO    I confess two sleeves.

Tailor    [Reads]  'The sleeves curiously cut.'

PETRUCHIO    Ay, there's the villany.

GRUMIO    Error i' the bill, sir; error i' the bill.
    I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and
    sewed up again; and that I'll prove upon thee,
    though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.

Tailor    This is true that I say: an I had thee
    in place where, thou shouldst know it.

GRUMIO    I am for thee straight: take thou the
    bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.

HORTENSIO    God-a-mercy, Grumio! then he shall have no odds.

PETRUCHIO    Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.

GRUMIO    You are i' the right, sir: 'tis for my mistress.

PETRUCHIO    Go, take it up unto thy master's use.

GRUMIO    Villain, not for thy life: take up my mistress'
    gown for thy master's use!

PETRUCHIO    Why, sir, what's your conceit in that?

GRUMIO    O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for:
    Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use!
    O, fie, fie, fie!

PETRUCHIO    [Aside]  Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
    Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.

HORTENSIO    Tailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow:
    Take no unkindness of his hasty words:
    Away! I say; commend me to thy master.

    [Exit Tailor]

PETRUCHIO    Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's
    Even in these honest mean habiliments:
    Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor;
    For 'tis the mind that makes the body rich;
    And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
    So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
    What is the jay more precious than the lark,
    Because his fathers are more beautiful?
    Or is the adder better than the eel,
    Because his painted skin contents the eye?
    O, no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse
    For this poor furniture and mean array.
    if thou account'st it shame. lay it on me;
    And therefore frolic: we will hence forthwith,
    To feast and sport us at thy father's house.
    Go, call my men, and let us straight to him;
    And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
    There will we mount, and thither walk on foot
    Let's see; I think 'tis now some seven o'clock,
    And well we may come there by dinner-time.

KATHARINA    I dare assure you, sir, 'tis almost two;
    And 'twill be supper-time ere you come there.

PETRUCHIO    It shall be seven ere I go to horse:
    Look, what I speak, or do, or think to do,
    You are still crossing it. Sirs, let't alone:
    I will not go to-day; and ere I do,
    It shall be what o'clock I say it is.

HORTENSIO    [Aside]  Why, so this gallant will command the sun.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT IV



SCENE IV    Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.


    [Enter TRANIO, and the Pedant dressed like VINCENTIO]

TRANIO    Sir, this is the house: please it you that I call?

Pedant    Ay, what else? and but I be deceived
    Signior Baptista may remember me,
    Near twenty years ago, in Genoa,
    Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.

TRANIO    'Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,
    With such austerity as 'longeth to a father.

Pedant    I warrant you.

    [Enter BIONDELLO]

    But, sir, here comes your boy;
    'Twere good he were school'd.

TRANIO    Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,
    Now do your duty throughly, I advise you:
    Imagine 'twere the right Vincentio.

BIONDELLO    Tut, fear not me.

TRANIO    But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?

BIONDELLO    I told him that your father was at Venice,
    And that you look'd for him this day in Padua.

TRANIO    Thou'rt a tall fellow: hold thee that to drink.
    Here comes Baptista: set your countenance, sir.

    [Enter BAPTISTA and LUCENTIO]

    Signior Baptista, you are happily met.

    [To the Pedant]

    Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of:
    I pray you stand good father to me now,
    Give me Bianca for my patrimony.

Pedant    Soft son!
    Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua
    To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio
    Made me acquainted with a weighty cause
    Of love between your daughter and himself:
    And, for the good report I hear of you
    And for the love he beareth to your daughter
    And she to him, to stay him not too long,
    I am content, in a good father's care,
    To have him match'd; and if you please to like
    No worse than I, upon some agreement
    Me shall you find ready and willing
    With one consent to have her so bestow'd;
    For curious I cannot be with you,
    Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.

BAPTISTA    Sir, pardon me in what I have to say:
    Your plainness and your shortness please me well.
    Right true it is, your son Lucentio here
    Doth love my daughter and she loveth him,
    Or both dissemble deeply their affections:
    And therefore, if you say no more than this,
    That like a father you will deal with him
    And pass my daughter a sufficient dower,
    The match is made, and all is done:
    Your son shall have my daughter with consent.

TRANIO    I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best
    We be affied and such assurance ta'en
    As shall with either part's agreement stand?

BAPTISTA    Not in my house, Lucentio; for, you know,
    Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants:
    Besides, old Gremio is hearkening still;
    And happily we might be interrupted.

TRANIO    Then at my lodging, an it like you:
    There doth my father lie; and there, this night,
    We'll pass the business privately and well.
    Send for your daughter by your servant here:
    My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.
    The worst is this, that, at so slender warning,
    You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.

BAPTISTA    It likes me well. Biondello, hie you home,
    And bid Bianca make her ready straight;
    And, if you will, tell what hath happened,
    Lucentio's father is arrived in Padua,
    And how she's like to be Lucentio's wife.

BIONDELLO    I pray the gods she may with all my heart!

TRANIO    Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone.

    [Exit BIONDELLO]

    Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way?
    Welcome! one mess is like to be your cheer:
    Come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.

BAPTISTA    I follow you.

    [Exeunt TRANIO, Pedant, and BAPTISTA]

    [Re-enter BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO    Cambio!

LUCENTIO    What sayest thou, Biondello?

BIONDELLO    You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?

LUCENTIO    Biondello, what of that?

BIONDELLO    Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind, to
    expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.

LUCENTIO    I pray thee, moralize them.

BIONDELLO    Then thus. Baptista is safe, talking with the
    deceiving father of a deceitful son.

LUCENTIO    And what of him?

BIONDELLO    His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

LUCENTIO    And then?

BIONDELLO    The old priest of Saint Luke's church is at your
    command at all hours.

LUCENTIO    And what of all this?

BIONDELLO    I cannot tell; expect they are busied about a
    counterfeit assurance: take you assurance of her,
    'cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum:' to the
    church; take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient
    honest witnesses: If this be not that you look for,
    I have no more to say, But bid Bianca farewell for
    ever and a day.

LUCENTIO    Hearest thou, Biondello?

BIONDELLO    I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an
    afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to
    stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir: and so, adieu,
    sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint
    Luke's, to bid the priest be ready to come against
    you come with your appendix.

    [Exit]

LUCENTIO    I may, and will, if she be so contented:
    She will be pleased; then wherefore should I doubt?
    Hap what hap may, I'll roundly go about her:
    It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

    [Exit]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT IV



SCENE V    A public road.


    [Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO, and Servants]

PETRUCHIO    Come on, i' God's name; once more toward our father's.
    Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!

KATHARINA    The moon! the sun: it is not moonlight now.

PETRUCHIO    I say it is the moon that shines so bright.

KATHARINA    I know it is the sun that shines so bright.

PETRUCHIO    Now, by my mother's son, and that's myself,
    It shall be moon, or star, or what I list,
    Or ere I journey to your father's house.
    Go on, and fetch our horses back again.
    Evermore cross'd and cross'd; nothing but cross'd!

HORTENSIO    Say as he says, or we shall never go.

KATHARINA    Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,
    And be it moon, or sun, or what you please:
    An if you please to call it a rush-candle,
    Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.

PETRUCHIO    I say it is the moon.

KATHARINA    I know it is the moon.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, then you lie: it is the blessed sun.

KATHARINA    Then, God be bless'd, it is the blessed sun:
    But sun it is not, when you say it is not;
    And the moon changes even as your mind.
    What you will have it named, even that it is;
    And so it shall be so for Katharina.

HORTENSIO    Petruchio, go thy ways; the field is won.

PETRUCHIO    Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,
    And not unluckily against the bias.
    But, soft! company is coming here.

    [Enter VINCENTIO]

    [To VINCENTIO]

    Good morrow, gentle mistress: where away?
    Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too,
    Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman?
    Such war of white and red within her cheeks!
    What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty,
    As those two eyes become that heavenly face?
    Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee.
    Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty's sake.

HORTENSIO    A' will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.

KATHARINA    Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,
    Whither away, or where is thy abode?
    Happy the parents of so fair a child;
    Happier the man, whom favourable stars
    Allot thee for his lovely bed-fellow!

PETRUCHIO    Why, how now, Kate! I hope thou art not mad:
    This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, wither'd,
    And not a maiden, as thou say'st he is.

KATHARINA    Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,
    That have been so bedazzled with the sun
    That everything I look on seemeth green:
    Now I perceive thou art a reverend father;
    Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.

PETRUCHIO    Do, good old grandsire; and withal make known
    Which way thou travellest: if along with us,
    We shall be joyful of thy company.

VINCENTIO    Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,
    That with your strange encounter much amazed me,
    My name is call'd Vincentio; my dwelling Pisa;
    And bound I am to Padua; there to visit
    A son of mine, which long I have not seen.

PETRUCHIO    What is his name?

VINCENTIO                      Lucentio, gentle sir.

PETRUCHIO    Happily we met; the happier for thy son.
    And now by law, as well as reverend age,
    I may entitle thee my loving father:
    The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman,
    Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not,
    Nor be grieved: she is of good esteem,
    Her dowery wealthy, and of worthy birth;
    Beside, so qualified as may beseem
    The spouse of any noble gentleman.
    Let me embrace with old Vincentio,
    And wander we to see thy honest son,
    Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.

VINCENTIO    But is it true? or else is it your pleasure,
    Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest
    Upon the company you overtake?

HORTENSIO    I do assure thee, father, so it is.

PETRUCHIO    Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;
    For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.

    [Exeunt all but HORTENSIO]

HORTENSIO    Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.
    Have to my widow! and if she be froward,
    Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward.

    [Exit]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT V



SCENE I    Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house.


    [GREMIO discovered. Enter behind BIONDELLO,
    LUCENTIO, and BIANCA]

BIONDELLO    Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.

LUCENTIO    I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee
    at home; therefore leave us.

BIONDELLO    Nay, faith, I'll see the church o' your back; and
    then come back to my master's as soon as I can.

    [Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO]

GREMIO    I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

    [Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO,
    with Attendants]

PETRUCHIO    Sir, here's the door, this is Lucentio's house:
    My father's bears more toward the market-place;
    Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

VINCENTIO    You shall not choose but drink before you go:
    I think I shall command your welcome here,
    And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.

    [Knocks]

GREMIO    They're busy within; you were best knock louder.

    [Pedant looks out of the window]

Pedant    What's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

VINCENTIO    Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

Pedant    He's within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

VINCENTIO    What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to
    make merry withal?

Pedant    Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall
    need none, so long as I live.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua.
    Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances,
    I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is
    come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

Pedant    Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here
    looking out at the window.

VINCENTIO    Art thou his father?

Pedant    Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

PETRUCHIO    [To VINCENTIO]  Why, how now, gentleman! why, this
    is flat knavery, to take upon you another man's name.

Pedant    Lay hands on the villain: I believe a' means to
    cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

    [Re-enter BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO    I have seen them in the church together: God send
    'em good shipping! But who is here? mine old
    master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.

VINCENTIO    [Seeing BIONDELLO]

    Come hither, crack-hemp.

BIONDELLO    Hope I may choose, sir.

VINCENTIO    Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

BIONDELLO    Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I
    never saw you before in all my life.

VINCENTIO    What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see
    thy master's father, Vincentio?

BIONDELLO    What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir:
    see where he looks out of the window.

VINCENTIO    Is't so, indeed.

    [Beats BIONDELLO]

BIONDELLO    Help, help, help! here's a madman will murder me.

    [Exit]

Pedant    Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!

    [Exit from above]

PETRUCHIO    Prithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of
    this controversy.

    [They retire]

    [Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants]

TRANIO    Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

VINCENTIO    What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal
    gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet
    hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I
    am undone! I am undone! while I play the good
    husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at
    the university.

TRANIO    How now! what's the matter?

BAPTISTA    What, is the man lunatic?

TRANIO    Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your
    habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir,
    what 'cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I
    thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

VINCENTIO    Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

BAPTISTA    You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do
    you think is his name?

VINCENTIO    His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought
    him up ever since he was three years old, and his
    name is Tranio.

Pedant    Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is
    mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.

VINCENTIO    Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold
    on him, I charge you, in the duke's name. O, my
    son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?

TRANIO    Call forth an officer.

    [Enter one with an Officer]

    Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,
    I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

VINCENTIO    Carry me to the gaol!

GREMIO    Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.

BAPTISTA    Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.

GREMIO    Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be
    cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this
    is the right Vincentio.

Pedant    Swear, if thou darest.

GREMIO    Nay, I dare not swear it.

TRANIO    Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

GREMIO    Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

BAPTISTA    Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!

VINCENTIO    Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O
    monstrous villain!

    [Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA]

BIONDELLO    O! we are spoiled and--yonder he is: deny him,
    forswear him, or else we are all undone.

LUCENTIO    [Kneeling]  Pardon, sweet father.

VINCENTIO    Lives my sweet son?

    [Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast
    as may be]

BIANCA    Pardon, dear father.

BAPTISTA    How hast thou offended?
    Where is Lucentio?

LUCENTIO                      Here's Lucentio,
    Right son to the right Vincentio;
    That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
    While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.

GREMIO    Here's packing, with a witness to deceive us all!

VINCENTIO    Where is that damned villain Tranio,
    That faced and braved me in this matter so?

BAPTISTA    Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

BIANCA    Cambio is changed into Lucentio.

LUCENTIO    Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love
    Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
    While he did bear my countenance in the town;
    And happily I have arrived at the last
    Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
    What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;
    Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

VINCENTIO    I'll slit the villain's nose, that would have sent
    me to the gaol.

BAPTISTA    But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter
    without asking my good will?

VINCENTIO    Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but
    I will in, to be revenged for this villany.

    [Exit]

BAPTISTA    And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.

    [Exit]

LUCENTIO    Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

    [Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA]

GREMIO    My cake is dough; but I'll in among the rest,
    Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.

    [Exit]

KATHARINA    Husband, let's follow, to see the end of this ado.

PETRUCHIO    First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

KATHARINA    What, in the midst of the street?

PETRUCHIO    What, art thou ashamed of me?

KATHARINA    No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.

PETRUCHIO    Why, then let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.

KATHARINA    Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.

PETRUCHIO    Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
    Better once than never, for never too late.

    [Exeunt]




    THE TAMING OF THE SHREW


ACT V



SCENE II    Padua. LUCENTIO'S house.


    [Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the Pedant,
    LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO,
    and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the
    Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet]

LUCENTIO    At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:
    And time it is, when raging war is done,
    To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
    My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
    While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
    Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,
    And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
    Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:
    My banquet is to close our stomachs up,
    After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
    For now we sit to chat as well as eat.

PETRUCHIO    Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

BAPTISTA    Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

PETRUCHIO    Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

HORTENSIO    For both our sakes, I would that word were true.

PETRUCHIO    Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

Widow    Then never trust me, if I be afeard.

PETRUCHIO    You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
    I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.

Widow    He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

PETRUCHIO    Roundly replied.

KATHARINA                      Mistress, how mean you that?

Widow    Thus I conceive by him.

PETRUCHIO    Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

HORTENSIO    My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.

PETRUCHIO    Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

KATHARINA    'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:'
    I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.

Widow    Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
    Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe:
    And now you know my meaning,

KATHARINA    A very mean meaning.

Widow    Right, I mean you.

KATHARINA    And I am mean indeed, respecting you.

PETRUCHIO    To her, Kate!

HORTENSIO    To her, widow!

PETRUCHIO    A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

HORTENSIO    That's my office.

PETRUCHIO    Spoke like an officer; ha' to thee, lad!

    [Drinks to HORTENSIO]

BAPTISTA    How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

GREMIO    Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

BIANCA    Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body
    Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

VINCENTIO    Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you?

BIANCA    Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,
    Have at you for a bitter jest or two!

BIANCA    Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;
    And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
    You are welcome all.

    [Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow]

PETRUCHIO    She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.
    This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not;
    Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.

TRANIO    O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,
    Which runs himself and catches for his master.

PETRUCHIO    A good swift simile, but something currish.

TRANIO    'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
    'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

BAPTISTA    O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

LUCENTIO    I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

HORTENSIO    Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?

PETRUCHIO    A' has a little gall'd me, I confess;
    And, as the jest did glance away from me,
    'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.

BAPTISTA    Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
    I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

PETRUCHIO    Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance
    Let's each one send unto his wife;
    And he whose wife is most obedient
    To come at first when he doth send for her,
    Shall win the wager which we will propose.

HORTENSIO    Content. What is the wager?

LUCENTIO    Twenty crowns.

PETRUCHIO    Twenty crowns!
    I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
    But twenty times so much upon my wife.

LUCENTIO    A hundred then.

HORTENSIO                      Content.

PETRUCHIO    A match! 'tis done.

HORTENSIO    Who shall begin?

LUCENTIO                      That will I.
    Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

BIONDELLO    I go.

    [Exit]

BAPTISTA    Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes.

LUCENTIO    I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.

    [Re-enter BIONDELLO]

    How now! what news?

BIONDELLO    Sir, my mistress sends you word
    That she is busy and she cannot come.

PETRUCHIO    How! she is busy and she cannot come!
    Is that an answer?

GREMIO                      Ay, and a kind one too:
    Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.

PETRUCHIO    I hope better.

HORTENSIO    Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife
    To come to me forthwith.

    [Exit BIONDELLO]

PETRUCHIO    O, ho! entreat her!
    Nay, then she must needs come.

HORTENSIO    I am afraid, sir,
    Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.

    [Re-enter BIONDELLO]

    Now, where's my wife?

BIONDELLO    She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
    She will not come: she bids you come to her.

PETRUCHIO    Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,
    Intolerable, not to be endured!
    Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;
    Say, I command her to come to me.

    [Exit GRUMIO]

HORTENSIO    I know her answer.

PETRUCHIO                      What?

HORTENSIO    She will not.

PETRUCHIO    The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.

BAPTISTA    Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!

    [Re-enter KATARINA]

KATHARINA    What is your will, sir, that you send for me?

PETRUCHIO    Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?

KATHARINA    They sit conferring by the parlor fire.

PETRUCHIO    Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come.
    Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands:
    Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.

    [Exit KATHARINA]

LUCENTIO    Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.

HORTENSIO    And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.

PETRUCHIO    Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life,
    And awful rule and right supremacy;
    And, to be short, what not, that's sweet and happy?

BAPTISTA    Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio!
    The wager thou hast won; and I will add
    Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
    Another dowry to another daughter,
    For she is changed, as she had never been.

PETRUCHIO    Nay, I will win my wager better yet
    And show more sign of her obedience,
    Her new-built virtue and obedience.
    See where she comes and brings your froward wives
    As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.

    [Re-enter KATHARINA, with BIANCA and Widow]

    Katharina, that cap of yours becomes you not:
    Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.

Widow    Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh,
    Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

BIANCA    Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?

LUCENTIO    I would your duty were as foolish too:
    The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
    Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.

BIANCA    The more fool you, for laying on my duty.

PETRUCHIO    Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women
    What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.

Widow    Come, come, you're mocking: we will have no telling.

PETRUCHIO    Come on, I say; and first begin with her.

Widow    She shall not.

PETRUCHIO    I say she shall: and first begin with her.

KATHARINA    Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
    And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
    To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
    It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
    Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
    And in no sense is meet or amiable.
    A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
    Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
    And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
    Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
    Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
    Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
    And for thy maintenance commits his body
    To painful labour both by sea and land,
    To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
    Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
    And craves no other tribute at thy hands
    But love, fair looks and true obedience;
    Too little payment for so great a debt.
    Such duty as the subject owes the prince
    Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
    And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
    And not obedient to his honest will,
    What is she but a foul contending rebel
    And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
    I am ashamed that women are so simple
    To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
    Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
    When they are bound to serve, love and obey.
    Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
    Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
    But that our soft conditions and our hearts
    Should well agree with our external parts?
    Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
    My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
    My heart as great, my reason haply more,
    To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
    But now I see our lances are but straws,
    Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
    That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
    Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
    And place your hands below your husband's foot:
    In token of which duty, if he please,
    My hand is ready; may it do him ease.

PETRUCHIO    Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.

LUCENTIO    Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha't.

VINCENTIO    'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.

LUCENTIO    But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

PETRUCHIO    Come, Kate, we'll to bed.
    We three are married, but you two are sped.

    [To LUCENTIO]

    'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;
    And, being a winner, God give you good night!

    [Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA]

HORTENSIO    Now, go thy ways; thou hast tamed a curst shrew.

LUCENTIO    'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.

    [Exeunt]